I feel there is something not right here, some kind of personality disorder which led me to your article on Aspergers. Dont expect them in your relationship with the person with narcissism. I dread moving house, because I know as soon as we move in hell be telling me we need to move out. He knew he carried something but he didnt inform me, so I had to presume he had either been diagnosed or had taught himself to be careful in certain areas of his behaviour, mainly due to getting himself into hot water in the past, I imagine. Ive been married a couple of times and had different intimate encounters along my journey in life, and also a 30yr friendship with a man with, what I described as a condition. I might be too, just not as much as him so I try and sympathize with his unusual behavior but its getting harder to do. There are getting to be a lot of predators out there who are weak-willed and have no self-control. It does a lot of harm how many people do you think dont get diagnosed because they have lots of enoathy so therefor believe they cannot be autistic? My husband certainly does. Even if i had multiple therapies, therapists, psychiatrists. I went to visit a friend for a week and when I regaled him what we did he said you talk too much about her just blew me away considering the hours Ive sat and listened to him about his whole life. My stuggle is how do I cope with this? I firmly believe he has Aspergers(autism) AND malignant narcissism/obsessive compulsive disorder. I understand medication is a great deal better these days, but would it have made a difference back then, I doubt it. I have a very interesting inner life trying and making sense of my life to the present moment but have no idea whether all this info could be used to move therapy to a better place with unarguable regulation for all. Then there is the story of the post-trauma. They pushed me and then sometimes helped or suggested me student loan or something like that, that they would sign for me etc. I had something I needed to get done on my home and had an inspector come to take a look, he was nice and we chatted about the beach as we both loved it and had caravans not to far from each other. I honestly dont know if I would bother with therapy if not for the potential to help improve my marriage as we both move into our middle age (which Ive heard can be a turning point for many/most). My family.. hates me with a.. mortal passion. With Asperger's and NPD, a lot of the criteria overlap. Everything to freeze/forget my emotions or life. Some pretty disturbingly backwards and stereotyped views are portrayed here and really need amending, I.e empathy and sensitivity . I don't want to be a narcissist | Asperger's & Autism Community - Wrong I blame it on others? I understand Frederics frustration but lots of narcissists dont know they are afflicted, and I expect some dont care. I was hoovered not once, not twice, but thrice by a woman Im pretty sure has high-functioning autism and c-ptsdthat is, if her story checks out. A tribe can not afford narcissists which means it isnt human, of nature. Then another decade or two of OK and good times, regular job etc. For some of you struggling with how Aspies think, I have been given a book written by a man who had Aspergers most of his life then found out he had it, it is certainly an eye opener to how differently they think. By commenting you acknowledge acceptance of GoodTherapy.org'sTerms and Conditions of Use. To understand her better I read books, watched DVDs and sought any other information that was informative. Went to a specialist Doctor to be assessed and tested. All I ever wanted was to be valued and to feel like I was an important person in his life. Asperger's and Narcissism : r/aspergers - Reddit Yes, they are as varied in character as other folk. He is capable of being quite charming when he wants to be and has three lady friends who think he is wonderful. I can tell you narcs are stupid.. morons because their lack of empathy makes them blind and totally unable to get what is going on. I care about him and dont like pointing these things out to him as he says I look to make big deals out of nothing, they go on the list so now Im beginning to wonder about myself. My family will do ANYTHING to avoid being wrong and to pass the buck something I also take umbridge with. Aspergers AND Narcissism? : r/aspergers - Reddit I ahd to return to him and now think he is in fact autistic but had a very narc mother and grandmother who he learned to relate from in other words he plays by their rules because that is all he knows. Develop healthy, happy connections within other relationships. I try my best with them but my psy is a narc the type of my father (he physician boss in healthcare) and my therapists most are narcs too the weak ones like my mother. 2. Maybe thats just evidence that some things can be more than one thing, and that someone can be a bit Aspergers AND a bit narcissistic. However I seem to have entered a happy final phase. For Your Own Good, and Thou Shalt Not Be Aware, by Alice Miller I am so pleased that you have managed to have a good relationship with your mother. To Maureen, no chance this allows comments these days or that you can check this but in case it works and anyone reads Its when they dropped the food with my in tears crying cauz i was seeing food i locked the moment in my head never forget who you live with.. never forget the truth never forget . Understand you have to do things on your own. I really struggle with this because codependents are urged to draw boundaries with people who do not meet their emotional needs. So I told him I reccently did an Autism quiz and it came back saying I was very high on the autistic side of the spectrum and should get assessed. Im 73 now, and feel better than Ive ever been in my whole life, more cheerful, creative, mentally aware and relaxed, etc. There was an element of narcissism too. I have cut all ties with him. You dont need a religion to know that demonic possession is real, just because materialism denies it. I just, cant tell what exactly i am. I apologise for this being so long, but its a huge subject with a lot of traps for the unwary. When autistics and allistics communicate, it might come across that the autistic doesnt care, but the core difference between them and someone with NPD is the intention behind their actions. (seared conscience). He was so young and so small and had no protection, from what I can gather. Its hard i have to act and look strong and narc to protect myself while trying to be good and do good around me undercover? Has anyone run across any studies of people who have had no vaccines or other exposure to heavy metals etc, who dont use drugs including caffeine, and/or who take supplements including essential minerals, B and other stress vitamins? There could be a level from the really dense types, right through to people that are amazing. Very much what he wants and not much what you want. He goes to help his ex wife in another state and sleeps in her bed because she has a tiny place. Who says Autism isnt normal as it has to be normal for an Autistic person doesnt it, and how does a sufferer explain these difficulties to a prospective partner. Well, finally after two + years with my boyfriend I finally got the courage to leave. You can ask him to leave if you have the courage, as maybe living separately will give you both more freedom to run your own lives independently, especially financially. We have both worked hard to make our marriage work but I felt so hurt today when he seemed anxious because my sister came to visit me, I have just had a major operation and she came over to give me some company and was gone before he got home. I think my brother and sister, both younger than me, were abused too but they dont remember anything, and they dont believe what my story. I am just exhausted by it all. We went away for a few days and I showed interest when we spent a whole day in a small town and he showed me every place hed ever lived, worked, went to school etc. Educate yourself on both afflictions, I found my final answer on a site called First Wives World if I may add this here, it was like a weight lifted from my shoulders after reading the piece of information where someone else had suffered under a narcissist. Subscribe me to the GoodTherapy.org public newsletter. That i should not worry its impossible not to worry since i know and see everyday all the narcs totally unable to see the problem.. see the face in the mirror Totally blinded. These guys generally dont learn or change. I was out of food not sick or going mentally bad! The world upside down when you dont know yet that your family is a bunch of monsters trying to kill you since childhood who would.. even consider that as an option? Im a Christian and like the verse that says He that covers over his sins shall not prosper and vengeance is mine, I will repay and he who troubles his house shall inherit the wind. No empathy! After my email.. they made me pay for it on the spot.. they called ambulance.. said i was being sent to hospital (my family used that to control and scare me sendm e to hospital calling me crazy without reasons to destory me). He then insists I look at them several times a day, tells me hates them, and he cant cope with how upset they make him. Break up and never look back. We are both seniors and the idea of starting afresh at this age is daunting so Im afraid to let go. However the lack of empathy leads to narcissistic behaviours and a misunderstanding of the real cause of symptoms. She has become calmer, I think mainly because she knows she is not alone but that she is one like many others out there. Apparently it had been a nightmare situation for some years till they worked out where this young fellow was coming from. Once they knew how his mind worked the parents put in strategies on ways to handle him and get him back down to their level. I definitely think Autism comes first, with Narcissism, sociopathy, abuser last.I think Autistics probably learn to copy and emulate others in their early years, and when frustrations of adulthood keep coming, they go into the mean, raging, boastfulness of Narcissism. I am so glad I am not the only one struggling with this diagnosis dilemma. 'Do I Have Asperger's or Narcissistic Personality Disorder?' - HuffPost The Connection Between Asperger's And Narcissism - Mental Health Recently however I have observed other traits which seem to indicate a rype of narcissim. Psys and therapists say its impossible that i be narc, impossible. It was one of the saddest days of my life yet it was also one of the most powerful as I had spend a lifetime being controlled by this man I tried so hard to love. It was hard as truly the healthcare and social services are filled with narcs there to ruin lves and enjoy the contorl they have over people like me. If she gets out of hand I just say your Asbergers is giving you a different outlook to me . The limit is other people's recognition. But I keep hurting her by my crippling inaction on a bunch of things like keeping up with bookkeeping for our business (which puts her financial security in jeopardy), or getting life insurance for myself. I wonder do you feel that the more he tells you it is not working the more you want to help him because you feel he has a problem you may be able to help with?